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Authors Name Academic performance dependent on eating breakfast What is defined as breakfast What percentage of teenagers eat breakfast Other Info Gr Gregory W. Phillips https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ876514.pdf “The data revealed that 65.5 percent self identified they had eaten some type of breakfast. Of those that had eaten breakfast, 72.7 received a “C” or better on the test.” “ During the course of the study 188 students made an “A” on the second exam, this includes 17.7% of the students who had eaten breakfast and 9.7% of those who had not eaten breakfast.” Following the premise of the American Dietetic Association (1996) that breakfast is when you eat, not what you eat, the administrator of the exam explained that breakfast could be a Pop Tar...
Your paper is well structured and easy to follow along, and your use of multiple sources (and a chart - solid addition!). Overall, this is an amazing draft in my opinion. You did a very good job at reinforcing your study and reminding me as a reader the relevance/importance of your study. The only thing I would say (because I know Prof. Paudel will as well) is that you should take the time to go over your paper and polish it for conciseness. That is something that you could work on even though it seems to me that your paper is near completion, and it will only make your paper better. Great job!
ReplyDeleteYour paper was pretty well laid out and made sense from the perspective of the reader. I would just say that you should clearly state what the gap in the research is in your abstract so that the reader has an idea of what they should be thinking about.
ReplyDeleteI would make sure that in your methods sections and within the procedure section of that, you should put every single thing that you did for you survey so that someone who doesn't look at the appendix can pretty much get the idea of your survey.
Seeing that for one of you data sets you have more than two data groups and you have four. I would suggest that you make a bar graph instead so that the close percentages like 15% and 20% as well as 30% and 35% don't look as similar and are more easily distinguished.
I would suggest being more concise within your results as it seems that some of that information could be used in the discussion section. For the results section give small descriptive paragraphs or sentences that explain the data in concise terms.